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ble, and Philip sat himself down to go through the papers of the deceased. The Rev. William Carey had prided himself on never destroying anything, and there were piles of correspondence dating back for fifty years and bundles upon bundles of neatly docketed bills. He had kept not only letters addressed to him, but letters which himself had written. There was a yellow packet of letters which he had written to his father in the forties, when as an Oxford undergraduate he had gone to Germany for the long vacation. Philip read them idly. It was a different William Carey from the William Carey he had known, and yet there were traces in the boy which might to an acute observer have suggested the man. The letters were formal and a little stilted. He showed himself strenuous to see all that was noteworthy, and he described with a fine enthusiasm the castles of the Rhine. The falls of Schaffhausen made him offer reverent thanks to the all powerful Creator of the universe, whose works were wondrous and beautiful, and he could not help thinking that they who lived in sight of this handiwork of their blessed Maker must be moved by the contemplation to lead pure and holy lives. Among some bills Philip found a miniature which had been painted of William Carey soon after he was ordained. It represented a thin young curate, with long hair that fell over his head in natural curls, with dark eyes, large and dreamy, and a pale ascetic face. Philip remembered the chuckle with which his uncle used to tell of the dozens of slippers which were worked for him by adoring ladies. The rest of the afternoon and all the evening Philip toiled through the innumerable correspondence. kids replica football kits uk He glanced at the address and at the signature, then tore the letter in two and threw it into the washing basket by his side. 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I m not certain yet. Perhaps it ll be all right. They walked on in silence till they came to the corner of Chancery Lane, where he always left her. She held out her hand and smiled. Don t worry about it yet. Let s hope for the best. He walked away with a tumult of thoughts in his head. What a fool he had been That was the first thing that struck him, an abject, miserable fool, and he repeated it to himself a dozen times in a rush of angry feeling. He despised himself. How could he have got into such a mess But at the same time, for his thoughts chased one another through his brain and yet seemed to stand together, in a hopeless confusion, like the pieces of a jig saw puzzle seen in a nightmare, he asked himself what he was going to do. Everything was so clear before him, all he had aimed at so long within reach at last, and now his inconceivable stupidity had erected this new obstacle. Philip had never been able to surmount what he acknowledged was a defect in his resolute desire for a well ordered life, and that was his passion for living in the future and no sooner was he settled in his work at the hospital than he had busied himself with arrangements for his travels. In the past he had often tried not to think too circumstantially of his plans for the future, it was only discouraging but now that his goal was so near he saw no harm in giving away to a longing that was so difficult to resist. First.sixth he was kids replica football kits uk little changed, tall, cadaverous, romantic as Philip remembered him, with the same wild eyes but the black beard was streaked with gray now and the dark, sallow face was more deeply lined. Philip had an impulse to go up and speak to him, but he was afraid he would have forgotten him, and he hated the thought of explaining who he was. Boys lingered talking to one another, and presently some who had hurried to change came out to play fives others straggled out in twos and threes and went out of the gateway, Philip knew they were going up to the cricket ground others again went into the precincts to bat at the nets. Philip stood among them a stranger one or two gave him an indifferent chelsea top glance but visitors, attracted by the Norman staircase, were not rare and excited little attention. Philip looked at them curiously. He thought with melancholy of the distance that separated him from them, and he thought bitterly how much he had wanted to do and how little done. It seemed to him that all those years, vanished beyond recall, had been utterly wasted. The boys, fresh and buoyant, were doing the same things that he had done, it seemed that not a day had passed since he left the school, and yet in that place where at least by name he had known everybody now he knew not a soul. In a few years these too, others taking their place, would stand alien as he stood but the reflection brought him no solace it merely impressed upon him the futility of human existence. Each generation repeated the trivial round. He wondered what had become of the boys who were his companions they were nearly thirty now some would be dead, but others were married and had children they were soldiers and parsons, doctors, lawyers they were staid men who were beginning to put youth behind them. Had any of them made such a hash of life as he He thought of the boy he had been devoted to it was funny, he could not recall his name he remembered exactly what he looked like, he had been his greatest friend but his name would not come back to him. He looked back with amusement on the jealous emotions he had suffered on his account. It was irritating not to recollect his name. He longed to be a boy again, like those he saw sauntering through the quadrangle, so that, avoiding his mistakes, he might start fresh and make something more out of life. He felt an intolerable loneliness. He almost regretted the penury which he had suffered during the last tw.
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I say, what on earth s the matter Leave me alone. I never want to speak to you again. What have I done I m awfully sorry if I ve hurt your feelings. I didn t mean to. I say, do get up. Oh, I m so unhappy. How could you be cruel to me You know I hate that stupid game. I only play because I want to play with you. She got up and walked towards the dressing table, but after a quick look in the glass sank into a chair. She made her handkerchief into a ball and dabbed her eyes with it. I ve given you the greatest thing a woman can give a man oh, what a fool I was and you have no gratitude. You must be quite heartless. How could you be so cruel as to torment me by flirting with those vulgar girls. We ve only got just over a week. Can t you even give me that Philip stood over her rather sulkily. He thought her behaviour childish. He was vexed with her for having shown her ill temper before strangers. But you know I don t care twopence about either of the O kids replica football kits uk football style shirt Connors. Why on earth should you think I do Miss Wilkinson put away her handkerchief. Her tears had made marks on her powdered face, and her hair was somewhat disarranged. Her white dress did not suit her very well just then. She looked at Philip with hungry, passionate eyes. Because you t shirt real madrid 2018 re twenty and so s she, she said hoarsely. And I m kids replica football kits uk old. Philip reddened and looked away. The anguish of her tone made him feel strangely uneasy. He wished with all his heart that he had never had anything to do with Miss Wilkinson. I don t want to make you unhappy, he said awkwardly. You.s explanations. He went back. He felt a shadow of annoyance in Mildred s eyes when she saw him, and his heart sank. You ve been a kids replica football kits uk devil of a time, said Griffiths, with a smile of welcome. I met some men I knew. new kits real madrid pes 2013 I ve been talking to them, and I couldn t get away. I thought you d be all right together. I ve been enjoying myself thoroughly, said Griffiths. I don t know about Mildred. She gave a little laugh of happy complacency. There was a vulgar sound in the ring of it that horrified Philip. He suggested that they should go. Come kids replica football kits uk on, said Griffiths, we ll both drive you home. Philip suspected that she had suggested that arrangement so that she might not be left alone with him. In the cab he did not take her hand nor did she offer it, and he knew all the time that she was holding Griffiths. His chief thought was that it was all so horribly vulgar. As they drove along he asked himself what plans they had made to meet without his knowledge, he cursed himself for having left them alone, he had actually gone out of his way to enable them to arrange things. Let s keep the cab, said Philip, when they reached the house in which Mildred was lodging. I m too tired to walk home. On the way back Griffiths talked gaily and seemed indifferent to the fact that Philip answered in monosyllables. Philip felt he must notice that something was the matter. Philip s silence at last grew too significant to struggle against, and Griffiths, suddenly nervous, ceased talking. Philip wanted to say something, but he was so shy he could hardly bring himself to, and yet the time was passing and the opportunity would be lost. It was best to get at the truth at once. He forced himself to speak. Are you in love with Mildred he asked suddenly. I Griffiths laughed. fc barcelona official shirts Is that what you ve been so funny kids replica football kits uk about this evening Of course not, my dear old man. He tried to slip his hand through Philip s arm, but Philip drew himself away. He knew Griffiths was lying. 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